Lamar Odom is opening up about his sex and drug addiction in his new book, "Darkness To Light." Read his truth inside…
Since his near fatal drug overdose a few years ago, Lamar Odom has been fighting to stay on the straight and narrow. The former NBA star still considers himself an addict, fighting everyday to stay clean. “I’m still an addict,” he writes in his new book. “I still struggle … [But] I will not go into the darkness. Ever again.”
As part of his healing journey, the former Lakers baller decided to write a memoir about his life where he opens up about his addiction to sex and drugs.
The NBA champion gets raw and real in his new memoir titled, "Darkness To Light," sharing he has been struggling with sex addiction since..forever.
“I have been obsessed with sex for as long as I can remember," he writes in the book. Excerpts from the memoir were released to PEOPLE. "I am a sex addict."
Odom’s addiction to sex certainly caused trouble during his four-year marriage to Khloe Kardashian. They called it quits in 2013 when she filed for divorce.
Being a NBA superstar with a fat bank account, the 39-year-old revealed he has had sex with more than 2,000 women. Ugh.
“There were too many strippers to count,” he writes. “It wasn’t a big deal, but often I would pay them. I never thought less of them.”
Odom says he regrets cheating on Khloe during their marriage and wishes he could take it back.
“I was shocked and embarrassed,” he tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview. “I wanted to take it back, but you can’t. [I] wanted to hide it. But that sick sin was hard for me to hide … I had a problem.”
“At the start of our marriage I was faithful to her,” he writes. “I could not handle the lethal cocktail of the spotlight, addiction, a diminishing career and infidelity. Oh, did I mention the paranoia, anxiety, depression. … I couldn’t keep my d— in my pants or the coke out of my nose. Drug addicts are incredibly skilled at hiding their habit. I’d get defensive and Khloé would just drop it.”
“I wish I could have been more of a man,” Odom, who admits that he was unfaithful to Kardashian and also hid from her his addiction to cocaine, tells PEOPLE. “It still bothers me to this day. But regret is something we have to learn to live with.”
He says he hopes he can one day get back cool with the Kardashians.
“I hope we can be friends,” Odom says. “I miss the family. And I hope we can all be reacquainted one day.”
Not only did he have a problem with infidelity, he was also addicted to watching porn.
“[I] ran out of porn to watch! That’s how you know when you are going a little overboard.”
Yeah, pretty much.
His addiction to sex fueled his drug addiction even more.
“Sex was a trigger for me to do drugs,” he tells PEOPLE. “Because you double up on [that] good feeling.”
After years of doubling up on that "good feeling" it caught up with him when he almost died inside a brothel in 2015 after overdosing.
“That was the wake-up call,” says the father-of-three. “Like, this can’t happen again.”
He shares details about how he almost died:
“On Tuesday morning, I lay on the floor in my room at the Ranch, dying. My body was convulsing. The women who kept me company screamed and called 911. I was taken to Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas. There was an unholy concoction of cocaine, cognac and cannabis coursing through my veins. My heart stopped twice. I had twelve seizures and six strokes. My lungs collapsed and my kidneys ruptured. I was on life support. Everyone I’d ever loved was looking at me through bleary eyes.”
“Waking up [on Oct. 16], I was pulling the tubes out of my throat,” he tells PEOPLE. “And I was trying to talk but I couldn’t get the words out. That was the scariest part. And not being able to walk. I’m a big athlete you know?”
This will surely be a page turner. Darkness To Light will be released May 28th.